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THE GUARDIAN |
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Teens told a
silver ring and a vow of
chastity are best way to
combat sexual epidemic
Patrick
Barkham The Guardian Worried that their children are bombarded with words, clothes and pictures that "talk dirty", six mothers are plotting a revolution against a society seen to be saturated with sex. The women, two Britons and four American expats, from Surrey, will next month launch a very American solution to the "sexual epidemic" afflicting the nation's teens - a silver ring and a vow of chastity.They were inspired by the success of Silver Ring Thing in the US, a Christian movement that has encouraged 17,000 young people to take a pledge of abstinence until marriage. Denny Pattyn, the charismatic leader of the US organisation, is visiting Britain this week to help launch Silver Ring Thing's UK wing. The mothers and their backers will go to seven cities in Britain and Ireland presenting a series of free events in June and July, offering pledges and selling silver rings for £10 apiece. "It's thumping music, lights, comedy, drama," said Paula Jacobs, a mother of three teenagers who teamed up with friends near Walton-on-Thames after being stunned by rising levels of sexually transmitted infections and the "deterioration of our youth". She added: "It's a fun night without any dark dangers or sex, just a good wholesome evening for kids with the same atmosphere as you get in a nightclub." Silver Ring Thing is strongly rooted in Christianity, but encourages girls and boys of any faith to take the pledge. Its pragmatic aim is to reduce sexually transmitted infections. Cases of syphilis rose by 870% between 1992 and 2002 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; chlamydia rose by 139%; and gonorrhoea by 106%, according to the Public Health Laboratory Service. The largest increase was among the under 25s. "We've all been taught safe sex. It's not working," said Mrs Jacobs. "Abstention is the way you stay away from STDs. We are not here to convert people, we are here to alert them. We want to help them eradicate this sexual epidemic amongst the teens. We're not going to be able to tell people what they do, we simply want to help those who want to change." In America, the 10-year-old True Love Waits movement, helped by federal government funding of "abstinence education" to the tune of $120m (£67m), has persuaded more than 2.4 million teenagers to promise to abstain from sex until marriage. Silver Ring Thing has received $700,000 from George Bush. Here, the organisation is self funded. "We've not got a lick of money," commented Mrs Jacobs. Loosely based on the step system pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, the programme encourages 11- to 18-year-olds to abstain until marriage. On Silver Ring Thing's US website, teenagers are asked: "Would you eat a cookie that already had a bite taken out of it?" Teenagers taking up the programme are supported by an "accountability partner", a friend with whom they can share thoughts and any worries. The programme emphasises that everyone deserves a "second chance" - wisely given that a US study found that almost nine in 10 of those who signed chastity pledges broke them. The mothers realise that chastity is a tough promise to keep in today's sexualised society. Roseanne Walters, a mother of six from Oxted, Surrey, said: "I've been through everything. You try to train your children in good choices but peer pressure should never be underestimated. Kids are bombarded with sexual images, with songs saying 'give me a man with a slow hand' and 'let's spend the night together'. "Youngsters need help and this is an avenue where they can have support from their peers. This is not the sort of teaching you get in a locker room where someone says 'did you see her breast?' This is positive peer pressure. It's a support system for what I'm teaching my kids. I say 'you don't think I'm cool but this is cool'." Her daughter, Kristina, 16, agrees that teenagers are under great pressure to be sexually active. "You don't think TV and advertising makes a difference but it accumulates and then you realise that it does. A lot of kids at my school dress exactly how TV and magazines have decided they should. People are trying to grow up fast." She supports Silver Ring Thing but is not so sure about making a public pledge. "It's intimidating when you're in front of all those people. Maybe people shouldn't make the decision there and then. They should think about it seriously." She thinks it could prove popular among Britain's teens. "Sex is a problem for any teenager in most modern countries." The mothers admit that they have been greeted with some scepticism. "I was in the hairdressers and mentioned my charity promoting sexual abstinence and there was silence and they all turned to look at me," said Mrs Jacobs. "The culture of course is American and that can get a lot of eye rolling, but we want to move it into Britain." Andy
Flannagan, of British Youth
for Christ, welcomed the
group. "Anything that
helps people remember a pledge
is a useful thing. But
obviously anything that feels
like an American import at the
moment may not be well
received. It is easy to stand
up in a meeting and say 'yes'
but the hard part is keeping
that promise in the daily
grind of our sexually
saturated society. When
someone makes a public
commitment, if they 'fall'
it's very important that they
have someone to speak to so
the guilt levels are not
multiplied by 10. I think
Silver Ring Thing are keen to
ensure that happens." 1:
Commitment 2: Growth 3:
Outreach 4:
Leadership 5: Silver
Ring Thing Foundations 6: Summer
internship 7:
College degree in youth
ministry 8:
Professional staff positions
Guardian Unlimited © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2004
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