Dear Sir/Madam,

Aki Nawaz's complaint about the use of the word "Paki" in a recent BBC documentary, because for him it is always a derogatory and racist term is interesting and important, because it highlights a dilemma that is never going to go away and which we must thus learn to live with ("BBC attacked over 'Paki' title for show").

At the personal level, one endeavours (usually without even thinking about it) to fit one's language and behaviour to the sensitivities of those actually present, but in mass and mass-medial society there are always going to be those who will feel offended by something or the other.

Words are spoken and meant in a certain way, while being heard and understood in a certain way. Ideally, the two should correspond as closely as possible, but of course, this is often not the case, with the result (sometimes tragic) that we are always misunderstanding each other.

I can understand that Mr Nawaz may have difficulty in accepting "Paki" as a non-derogatory term, but he needs to learn that it can be (in fact, generally is). Otherwise, he is going to be misunderstanding many people, feeling offended and seeing enemies and racists where there are none. Although, if he reacts in an offended and aggressive manner, he may well elicit an offended and aggressive response, confirming (in his mind) his initial assumption and forming a vicious circle of misunderstanding and unpleasantness, if not nastiness.

We are all susceptible to being offended by certain expressions, sometimes even when we know that they are not meant to be. Meanings get programmed into us, sometimes by early or traumatic experience, but we should be capable of reprogramming ourselves, or if not, of finding help. The best immediate help is to cultivate a thick skin or, put more positively, an attitude of detachment.

In the longer term, it would be very useful to have courses (workshops), available to everyone, that facilitate such (and perhaps also other kinds of) reprogramming.

Roger Hicks 
@ www.spaceship-earth.org