To: dtletters@telegraph.co.uk |
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Dear
Sir/Madam,
A consequence
of living in a
multi-racial,
multi-cultural
society, as we
now do, is the
greatly
increased
probability of
having
mixed-race
grandchildren,
which although
I'm reluctant to
admit it (for
fear of giving
offence and/or
being branded
a "racist"),
is a cause of
concern to me.
This fear of
giving offence
or being
branded a
"racist" also
pervades
society as a
whole, making
it a taboo
subject, which
means that I
have no way of
knowing if my
feelings are
unusual, or
whether I
share them
with others,
and if so,
with how many?
Some would no
doubt argue
that such
feelings and
worries are
"racist" and
should be
suppressed,
but I strongly
disagree. My
experience is
that it is
always far
better to
accept the way
one feels and
to be honest
about it,
certainly with
oneself, but
also, as far
as possible,
without giving
intentional or
unnecessary
offence, with
others.
We have no
control over
how we feel
(only over how
we behave), so
there is no
blame attached
to it. If we
have "bad
feelings" the
best way to
deal with them
is not to
suppress them,
but to become
fully aware of
and understand
them.
Suppressing
them, in
fact, can and
often does
have very
negative
consequences,
because then
they can
influence our
behaviour from
the
subconscious,
over which we
have no
control.
My motive in
writing is to
suggest that
the Telegraph
take steps
towards
initiating the
commissioning
of a study,
which would
need to be no
less
rigorously
than
sensitively
planned and
executed, of
attitudes
towards
actually being
and the
thought of
being the
grandparent of
mixed-race
children.
Possibly, this
is too taboo
for you even
to consider,
but either
way, I would
be interested
in hearing
your response.
It is very
important, I
believe, that
we stop
suppressing
feelings
relating to
race - what it
means to us
personally and
to our society
- and start
talking about
them. Thus the
importance of
information on
how other
people feel.
Unless someone
is being
deliberately
offensive,
they should
not be
intimidated
into silence
(which is what
happens now)
by being
branded a
"racist".
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