To:    dtletters@telegraph.co.uk
Re:    Attitudes towards (the thought of) having mixed-race grandchildren
Date:  Saturday 1 April 06

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
A consequence of living in a multi-racial, multi-cultural society, as we now do, is the greatly increased probability of having mixed-race grandchildren, which although I'm reluctant to admit it (for fear of giving offence and/or being branded a "racist"), is a cause of concern to me.
 
This fear of giving offence or being branded a "racist" also pervades society as a whole, making it a taboo subject, which means that I have no way of knowing if my feelings are unusual, or whether I share them with others, and if so, with how many?
 
Some would no doubt argue that such feelings and worries are "racist" and should be suppressed, but I strongly disagree. My experience is that it is always far better to accept the way one feels and to be honest about it, certainly with oneself, but also, as far as possible, without giving intentional or unnecessary offence, with others.
 
We have no control over how we feel (only over how we behave), so there is no blame attached to it. If we have "bad feelings" the best way to deal with them is not to suppress them, but to become fully aware of and understand them. Suppressing them, in fact, can and often does have very negative consequences, because then they can influence our behaviour from the subconscious, over which we have no control.
 
My motive in writing is to suggest that the Telegraph take steps towards initiating the commissioning of a study, which would need to be no less rigorously than sensitively planned and executed, of attitudes towards actually being and the thought of being the grandparent of mixed-race children.
 
Possibly, this is too taboo for you even to consider, but either way, I would be interested in hearing your response.
 
It is very important, I believe, that we stop suppressing feelings relating to race - what it means to us personally and to our society - and start talking about them. Thus the importance of information on how other people feel. Unless someone is being deliberately offensive, they should not be intimidated into silence (which is what happens now) by being branded a "racist".

www.spaceship-earth.org

 



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